How to Tell if People Are Jealous of Your Success: 15 Signs

Jealousy rears its green-eyed head in some pretty obvious ways – but how can you REALLY tell if someone envies your success?

It’s not always easy to tell. After all, most of the time envy is buried deep down where no one can see it.

There are actually several subtle signals to look out for if you’re curious whether friends, co-workers, or peers are harboring some jealousy at your big wins.

From minimized reactions to suspiciously timed sabotage…we’ll walk through how to pay attention to others secretly hoping for your failure or setbacks.

Sometimes, you just have to trust your gut and read between the lines. Perfectly nice people can disguise their insecurities – but you’ll probably notice a pattern.

How to Tell if People Are Jealous of Your Success

When we accomplish great things, not everyone will cheer us on – some may actually feel envious. But how can you tell if someone is jealous of your achievements? Here are 15 subtle signs to look out for.

They Downplay Your Achievements and Accomplishments

One possible sign that someone is jealous of your success is the behavior of consistently seeming to downplay or minimize your wins. For example, if you get a promotion at work and they say something like “I’m sure they promote most people after a few years” or “Too bad it probably comes with longer hours.”

Essentially, comments that try to make your accomplishment not seem like a big deal.

• Dismiss your success as “not a big deal.”
• Attribute your achievements to external factors, not your effort.
• Avoid acknowledging the significance of your work.
• Shift the conversation away from your success to something else.

They Mimic Your Ideas but Never Credit You

Another signal could be if you share an idea and then notice that person implements it themselves. But instead of acknowledging that you inspired them, they take full credit. For instance, perhaps you suggest an efficient new filing system to a co-worker.

A month later, you find out they quietly rolled out that exact system with no mention of your initial brainstorm.

• Reuse your ideas without mentioning you.
• Claim your ideas as their own in group settings.
• Implement your suggestions and act as if they came up with them.
• Show no appreciation or recognition for your contributions.

They Gossip About Your Success Behind Your Back

Someone who gossips about your victories behind your back may harbor jealousy. You win an award, and somehow they’ve heard negative rumors from others diminishing the achievement.

They never say these things directly to you – it’s almost like they’re spreading gossip to convince themselves and others that you don’t deserve success.

• Spread rumors or false information about your achievements.
• Twist the facts to make your success seem less impressive.
• Discuss your progress in a negative light with others.
• Encourage others to question your abilities or credibility.

They Avoid Celebrating Your Big Wins Publicly

You also may notice jealous people failing to celebrate your big milestones publicly.

For example, perhaps you have some major professional or personal news like a book deal or engagement.

Most friends send a congratulatory text or card, but this person stays silent instead of sharing in your joy. They still interact with you normally in private though.

• Stay silent during announcements of your achievements.
• Skip or ignore your celebrations or milestones.
• Downplay the significance of your success in public settings.
• Give minimal or no recognition for your accomplishments in group settings.

They Dismiss Your Progress as Just “Luck”

Moreover, someone who consistently credits luck for your wins might be exposing envy. Whenever you accomplish something due to hard work like doing well on a major presentation, they pipe in that you were “so lucky” that the topic was chosen or you got selected.

They refuse to acknowledge the hours you sacrificed making those results happen.

• Claim that your achievements are due to chance, not hard work.
• Argue that anyone in your position would have achieved the same.
• Insinuate that you were simply at the right place at the right time.
• Refuse to acknowledge your skills and efforts in achieving success.

They Secretly Hope for Your Failure and Setbacks

Along those lines, if someone seems strangely let down by any of your setbacks rather than supportive, jealousy could be lurking beneath the surface.

You might notice odd disappointment, blame, or even satisfaction when you fail instead of empathy or encouragement. It’s like they secretly hoped for the complication so your success seems less untouchable.

• Act overly concerned about potential risks or failures.
• Subtly encourage actions that might lead to your failure.
• React with hidden satisfaction when you face obstacles.
• Show reluctance to support you during tough times.

They Compete with You in Everything You Do

Someone who tries to one-up you or compete with all your goals likely feels some envy. Whether you train for a marathon or get an advanced degree, they suddenly decide to pursue the exact same things – with an air of attempted superiority.

They can’t stand for you to be excelling in something without proving themselves better.

• Constantly try to outdo or one-up your achievements.
• Compare their progress directly with yours in every situation.
• Engage in activities solely to compete with you.
• Become frustrated or resentful when they don’t surpass you.

They Get Defensive When You Talk About Your Goals

Someone who reacts oddly when you discuss your dreams or aspirations may see you as a threat.

For example, say you tell a colleague you hope to take on more leadership responsibilities this year.

And instead of being supportive, they get defensive and start listing reasons why you may not be ready. Or they suddenly make similar claims about their own readiness for leadership without cause.

• Change the subject when you discuss your future plans.
• React negatively or dismissively to your ambitions.
• Justify their own lack of progress in response to your goals.
• Criticize or downplay the importance of your goals.

They Find Faults in Everything You Do Right

Someone who critiques and finds faults in your victories could be battling jealousy. When you do something objectively well like nail a presentation, they feel compelled to criticize tiny issues like one minor typo or the order of slides.

Rather than praising your hard work, they distract you by scrutinizing insignificant imperfections. Their analysis seems focused on downplaying more than constructively helping you improve.

• Point out minor mistakes or imperfections in your work.
• Diminish your success by focusing on what could have been better.
• Criticize your methods or strategies despite successful outcomes.
• Highlight any shortcomings to overshadow your achievements.

They Subtly Sabotage Your Efforts or Plans

You may also notice the green eye of envy leads to subtle sabotage.

For example, say you spearhead a big project. Someone jealous of you landing the lead role might not carry their weight doing assigned tasks or secretly speak to key decision-makers to voice unnecessary concerns about your strategy.

They don’t necessarily want the responsibility of helming the entire initiative. Yet, they try to hamper your success just enough to soothe their own ego.

• Give misleading advice that could derail your success.
• Delay or obstruct your progress through unhelpful actions.
• Withhold information or resources that could aid your success.
• Create distractions or conflicts that hinder your efforts.

They Brag About Their Own Success to Outshine Yours

Someone who constantly brags about beating their own PRs when you share fitness progress could be exhibiting envy. You train hard to accomplish your first pull-up.

Instead of simply congratulating you, this individual has to boast about how long ago they reached ten pull-ups without struggle. Their insecurity compels them to outshine your fitness milestones.

• Immediately follow your achievements with their own stories of success.
• Shift conversations to their accomplishments whenever yours are mentioned.
• Exaggerate their successes to appear more accomplished than you.
• Downplay your achievements while highlighting their own.

They Exclude You from Key Conversations or Events

You might also notice envious people conveniently exclude you from important meetings or events relevant to your work. Say there’s an informal brainstorming happy hour that could be beneficial for you to join and network.

However multiple colleagues attend while “forgetting” to invite you. Similarly, you somehow don’t make the invite list for a key strategy session. Exclusion allows them to bond while keeping you out of the loop.

• Leave you out of important meetings or discussions.
• Plan events or activities without inviting you.
• Share critical information with others but not with you.
• Make decisions that affect you without including your input.

They Make Passive-Aggressive Remarks About You

Jealous people often resort to passive-aggressive potshots. Backhanded compliments, veiled sarcasm, or smiles that don’t reach the eyes are common when they congratulate you through gritted teeth.

They might praise something with an infection that diminishes the applause, saying “Wow, I guess all that time you spent sure paid off big time for your B+ result huh?”. Their way of dulling your win without overt meanness.

• Compliment you in a way that feels more like an insult.
• Make sarcastic comments about your success or abilities.
• Say things that undermine your confidence subtly.
• Use humor or jokes to disguise criticism.

They Constantly Compare Themselves to You

Someone constantly sizing themselves up against you likely battles insecurity. They interpret all your accomplishments as benchmarks they must match or beat.

Everything becomes an endless mental competition – if you get a bonus, they have to at least get equal or negotiate higher. If you lift 150 lbs, they add 5 more lbs next gym session. They can’t rest knowing someone outperforms them.

• Regularly bring up comparisons between your achievements and theirs.
• Use your success as a benchmark for their own progress.
• Frequently discuss how they measure up to you.
• Show discomfort or resentment when the comparison is unfavorable to them.

They Show Fake Enthusiasm When You Succeed

Disingenuous enthusiasm screams subtle envy. You share some personal good news, and instead of smiling eyes, you notice a plastered fake grin. They offer lukewarm congratulations through gritted teeth or with telltale signs like distracted glances elsewhere.

Their words express support, but body language conveys veiled disappointment they must mask. They don’t actually feel good about your success deep down.

• Offer overly enthusiastic praise that feels insincere.
• Congratulate you in a way that seems forced or unenthusiastic.
• Act overly excited about your success but lack genuine support.
• Use your achievements as a topic for their own self-promotion.

Conclusion

By now, you should have a solid idea of how to tell if people are jealous of your success. From the chronic critic to the conveniently “lucky” one, lots of little signs can expose jealousy hiding behind people’s smiles.

The reality is, that our wins remind some folks of what THEY haven’t achieved yet – and that can sting.

When you start intuitively spotting the subtle put-downs, sudden competitiveness, or lackluster reactions…you’ll realize how to tell someone is actually envious of your success.

Remember though, you deserve to be proud of your progress whether they celebrate it properly or not. Their issues don’t diminish your hard work, so keep your confidence intact. Congratulate YOURSELF enough to drown out the envious chatter in the background!

FAQs

What subtle behaviors indicate jealousy in the workplace?

In the workplace, jealousy might show through dismissive comments, passive-aggressive behavior, or exclusion from meetings. Colleagues may downplay your achievements, spread rumors, or mimic your work while criticizing it. Watch for signs like the silent treatment or lack of acknowledgment of your success.

How does jealousy manifest in close relationships?

In close relationships, jealousy often appears as criticism, comparison, or emotional withdrawal. The jealous person may downplay your accomplishments, offer unsolicited advice, or become distant and less supportive, leading to tension and resentment.

Are there specific phrases or comments that reveal jealousy?

Jealousy can be hinted at through phrases like “You must be lucky” or “It’s not that impressive.” Comments that diminish your achievements or compare them unfavorably to the speaker’s own successes are often signs of envy.

What are some physical or non-verbal cues that someone is jealous?

Physical signs of jealousy include avoiding eye contact, displaying forced smiles, or using closed-off body language like crossed arms. The person might also lean away or maintain distance, indicating discomfort or resentment.

How can social media activity indicate jealousy of your success?

Jealousy on social media can be indicated by ignoring your posts, unfollowing you, or posting passive-aggressive comments. Overemphasizing their own achievements or making cryptic posts related to your success can also signal jealousy.

Can jealousy affect your relationship with others?

Yes, jealousy can strain relationships, leading to tension, conflict, or even estrangement. It can cause decreased support, increased criticism, and a breakdown in trust and communication, affecting the relationship’s overall health.

Is it possible to overcome feelings of jealousy from others?

Yes, overcoming jealousy involves open communication and understanding. Address the issue calmly, acknowledge the other person’s feelings, and set boundaries if necessary. With mutual effort, relationships can heal and grow stronger.

Can jealousy be a sign of admiration or respect?

Jealousy can sometimes indicate admiration or respect, as it often reflects a desire to achieve similar success or possess qualities you have. While it may be negative, it also shows that your achievements are recognized and valued.

How can you maintain healthy relationships despite jealousy?

To maintain healthy relationships, communicate openly and empathetically, and avoid boasting. Support the other person’s achievements and set boundaries if jealousy becomes harmful. Fostering a supportive environment helps keep relationships positive.

Are there ways to prevent jealousy from arising in the first place?

Prevent jealousy by promoting a supportive atmosphere. Share successes modestly, celebrate others’ achievements, and maintain open communication. Encouraging mutual growth and positive reinforcement helps prevent jealousy from developing.