15 Ways How to Overcome Challenges of Trying to Be Yourself

Being yourself in an age of airbrushed Instagrams and curated personas sounds all unicorns and rainbows until you actually try to do it.

Then the challenges come crawling out of the woodwork – fear of judgment, pressure to conform, the ghosts of relationships past screaming “I liked the old you better!” into your ear.

But living authentically matters, so in this piece, we’ll explore the most common obstacles that prevent people from truly being themselves, from societal expectations to internal self-doubt.

We’ll also equip you with some practical tips on how to overcome challenges of trying to be yourself to call off the identity crisis patrol and start building confidence from the inside out.

If you’ve ever felt the allure of re-inventing yourself to keep the peace or secretly wished to return a new personality trait you tried on for size, you’ll want to keep reading.

This is your permission slip to peel off the layers of people-pleasing and say hello to the unique soul the universe has declared worthy of existence – you.

13 Challenges of Being Your Authentic Self

Staying true to who we are can be rife with roadblocks, both external and internal. From social pressure to self-doubt, embracing our authenticity requires courage and consciousness.

Here are some of the common obstacles.

Societal Pressure

The influence of society and its rigid rules can discourage us from freely expressing our identity and needs if they go against prevailing norms. Fearing disapproval, we hide parts of ourselves. But conformity often brews inner turmoil.

Fear of Judgment

We may modify behavior, interests, or fashion to avoid harsh judgment about attributes that make us different or unique. This tendency towards people-pleasing stifles authentic self-expression out of dread of retaliation or rejection for simply being ourselves.

Comparison to Others

Seeing friends, influencers, and peers thriving on their own trajectories can breed jealousy, insecurity, and obsession with measuring up.

Cultural Expectations

Every family and culture comes loaded with expectations around duty, gender roles, career paths, and measures of success or failure. Figuring out where our own needs and priorities diverge from these ingrained belief systems can stir up inner turmoil.

Social Media Influence

The tendencies towards comparison and chasing external validation get amplified to an extreme degree on social media, breeding FOMO, anxiety, unrealistic aspirations, and self-doubt when we fall short.

Fear of Rejection

Part of asserting ourselves means risking that our advances, ideas or authentic identities will face rejection by those whose approval we may crave.

Internal Conflict

Sometimes the barriers aren’t only external but also come from within. Self-doubt, imposter syndrome, paralyzing perfectionism, and feelings of inner tension around fully embracing certain integral parts of your identity can undermine your ability to confidently move through the world as your authentic self due to fear or lack of grounding in self-knowledge.

Lack of Role Models

Seeing people who inspire you and model positive self-acceptance can fuel your confidence to walk a similar path of boldness and belonging in your own skin. A lack of diverse, relatable role models in positions of influence can therefore perpetuate feelings of otherness. Be the change by living authentically.

Self-Doubt

An unsure inner voice whispers that we are undeserving or incapable of achieving our greatest visions for life and self-expression if we were to let our freak flags fly. Listen for and consciously question self-doubt when it pipes up.

Peer Pressure

Friends, classmates, teammates, or colleagues explicitly or implicitly pressuring you to look, think, or behave in certain ways can hijack your ability to make choices aligned with your values.

Fear of Failure

So often the prospect of failing – whether a lost connection, bad grade, rejected proposal, or more – deters us from daring greatly to pursue goals or share ideas aligned with inner truth due to dread of embarrassment.

Insecurity

Feeling inadequate, unlikeable, or too flawed breeds insecurity about freely expressing personality, creativity, affection or other sensitive parts of self. Comparison and negative self-talk often feed the beast.

Resistance to Change

As we evolve, sometimes we rigidly cling to old versions of self for comfort even when they no longer fit due to fear of the unknown. Other times we reshape to match every new trend or please every new group, having no solid inner core or belief system.

How to Overcome the Challenges of Trying to Be Yourself

Being your true, authentic self can feel challenging at times. We may worry about judgment from others or feel pressure to conform. However, accepting who we really are is key to living a fulfilling life aligned with our values.

Here are actionable steps to help you develop resilience and overcome the obstacles of trying to be yourself.

Identify and Embrace Your Unique Strengths

Get to know yourself on a deeper level to understand what makes you tick. Are you analytical, creative, or athletic? Make a list of your talents and positive qualities, both big and small.

Accept and appreciate these parts of yourself rather than focusing on weaknesses. Give yourself credit for your capabilities and don’t be afraid to stand out.

• List your skills and talents, focusing on what makes you stand out.
• Use these strengths in daily activities to build confidence.
• Celebrate small achievements to reinforce your unique abilities.
• Seek feedback from trusted individuals to understand your strengths better.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others’ Journeys

It’s easy to measure our progress and abilities against those around us. But every person has their own path in life. Rather than getting caught up in comparison, redirect your focus inward.

Define success based on your own growth, priorities, and meaning rather than societal standards.

• Unfollow or mute social media accounts that trigger comparisons.
• Focus on your own progress and personal goals.
• Remind yourself that everyone’s path is different.
• Practice gratitude for your unique experiences.

Practice Saying No to Things That Don’t Align

Stay true to your needs and values, even if that means turning down opportunities others want you to take. Say no firmly but politely to requests that don’t light you up.

Be willing to explain your reasons if needed. Limit people-pleasing and ask yourself what you truly want.

• Assess opportunities based on your values and priorities.
• Politely decline requests that conflict with your personal goals.
• Set clear personal boundaries to protect your time and energy.
• Regularly review commitments to ensure they align with your true self.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Seek out relationships that make you feel accepted as you are. Good friends and community uplift us.

If certain people pressure you to change core parts of yourself, you may need to reevaluate those bonds. Prioritize those who appreciate the real you.

• Identify friends and mentors who encourage your authenticity.
• Spend time with those who respect your individuality.
• Join communities or groups that share your values and interests.
• Distance yourself from toxic relationships that drain your energy.

Accept That Not Everyone Will Understand You

It can be disheartening when others misunderstand or disapprove of aspects of your identity or choices. But not everyone will share your perspectives and priorities.

As long as you’re acting with integrity, stay confident in who you are even amid raised eyebrows. You get to determine your direction.

• Understand that differences in perspective are natural.
• Focus on those who value and appreciate you as you are.
• Practice self-compassion when facing misunderstandings.
• Don’t waste energy trying to change others’ opinions of you.

Let Go of the Need for Constant Approval

Needing everyone’s stamp of approval is an impossible goal that prevents authentic self-expression. Understand that it’s normal for some people to disagree with your lifestyle, words, or decisions. You can thoughtfully explain your reasoning while also being at peace with the reality that you won’t please all people all the time.

Not everyone has to sign off on your choices for them to be valid. Grant yourself the flexibility to live in alignment with your inclinations.

• Prioritize your own opinion and self-worth.
• Recognize when you’re seeking validation and pause to reflect.
• Focus on your inner values rather than external validation.
• Practice self-affirmation to boost internal confidence.

Trust Your Instincts Over External Opinions

Look inward for wisdom rather than letting outside voices drown out your inner compass. Weigh feedback objectively while also tuning into your own intuitive knowing. At the end of the day, you are the authority on your needs and path.

Have confidence in your ability to navigate life guided by self-knowledge rather than overreliance on others’ perspectives.

• Listen to your gut feelings when making decisions.
• Reflect on past experiences where following your instincts led to positive outcomes.
• Take time to consider external advice, but always make the final decision based on your values.
• Develop a daily habit of tuning into your thoughts and feelings.

Set Boundaries to Protect Your Authenticity

Determine what people, activities, and environments drain or uplift you. Then set boundaries to limit the former and make more space for the latter.

For example, if certain friends pressure you to behave inauthentically, limit time with them. If you find solace in nature, make outdoor time non-negotiable. Boundaries help shield you against external forces that could mute your true essence.

• Clearly define what is acceptable and unacceptable in your relationships.
• Communicate your boundaries assertively without guilt.
• Regularly review and adjust boundaries as needed.
• Respect others’ boundaries to encourage mutual understanding.

Embrace Your Imperfections as Part of You

Resist the urge to hide or change parts of yourself that society deems flaws. Your messiness, sensitivities, eccentricities – these make you human and whole.

Let go of shame, practice self-compassion, and weave your so-called imperfections into the fabric of your identity. They don’t detract from your worth; they add dimension to it.

• Acknowledge your flaws without judgment.
• Focus on self-improvement rather than perfection.
• Celebrate your progress, even in small steps.
• Practice self-compassion in moments of doubt.

Stay True to Your Values, Even Under Pressure

In tough situations that tempt compromise, anchor yourself in your principles. If career moves conflict with ethical lines or relationships threaten your self-respect, stand firm rather than forfeit your values for approval or ease.

Trust that the right opportunities and people will embrace both you and your steadfast sense of integrity.

• Identify your core values and make decisions that align with them.
• Reflect on past situations where staying true to your values benefited you.
• Prepare yourself mentally for challenging situations by rehearsing responses.
• Stay grounded by reminding yourself of what truly matters.

Take Small, Bold Steps Towards Your True Passions

Inch outside your comfort zone to express hidden or budding talents. Maybe you try acrylic painting, join a writing workshop, or audition for a play.

Dare to color outside the lines of past identities or perceived limitations without being reckless. Keep pursuing what enlivens you. Your purpose often reveals itself through consistent little leaps of faith on the process of self-discovery.

• Break down big goals into manageable tasks.
• Start with the easiest steps to build momentum.
• Celebrate each milestone to stay motivated.
• Continuously reassess and refine your goals as you progress.

Reflect Regularly on What Truly Matters to You

Check-in with yourself often about priorities, goals, and sources of meaning rather than living on autopilot. What delights and troubles you?

How aligned do your days feel with the inner truth? Self-reflection builds self-awareness so you can course-correct when life veers too far from your essence. Journaling and open conversations work wonders.

• Schedule time for self-reflection daily or weekly.
• Keep a journal to track your thoughts and feelings.
• Reevaluate your goals and priorities periodically.
• Adjust your actions and decisions based on your reflections.

Accept That Change is Part of Self-Growth

Our interests, views, needs, and purposes naturally shift over time. Don’t cling to old versions of yourself if they no longer fit. Give yourself space to outgrow former identities without mourning their passing.

Trust in your capacity to expand. Evolution denotes progress when rooted in self-understanding.

• Embrace change as a natural part of personal development.
• View challenges as opportunities to grow and learn.
• Practice flexibility and adaptability in your daily life.
• Celebrate your growth and evolution over time.

Learn From Setbacks Without Losing Your Identity

When major failures or mistakes happen, treat them as opportunities for wisdom rather than signs you should shrink or morph. Process the emotions then reflect: how can this help me grow while still honoring my spirit?

Difficult experiences often deepen self-knowledge. Integrate lessons learned while refusing to let tribulations deflate your sense of purpose.

• Analyze setbacks to identify lessons and growth opportunities.
• Stay committed to your core values and goals.
• Seek support from trusted individuals when facing challenges.
• Use setbacks as motivation to push forward with renewed focus.

Focus on Your Growth, Not Others’ Opinions

Rather than obsessing over how peers and society judge you, direct that mental energy inward to nurture your talents, healing, creativity, and vision. Check in often: how can I take my unique abilities to the next level?

Your life’s report card gets graded by your own standards, not external ones. Keep watering your soul’s flowers without hyper-focusing on watchful eyes over the fence.

• Set personal goals that prioritize your development.
• Regularly assess your progress based on your standards.
• Seek constructive feedback only from those you trust.
• Remind yourself that your journey is unique and valuable.

Conclusion

In the end, the challenges of trying to be yourself often boil down to courage in the face of uncertainty. But once you face those fears, you’ll realize the effort was worth it.

While the obstacles may be plentiful, being authentically you is 100% worth fighting for every step of the winding journey. Because a life spent hiding parts of our colorful souls for approval is no vibrant life at all.

Here’s to speaking our spur-of-the-moment weird ideas out loud, rocking unexpected haircuts that make us grin, embracing our earned wrinkles with pride, nurturing communities that appreciate our realness, and walking ever closer each day to the beat of our beautifully imperfect drums.

For in boldly being the one-of-a-kind humans we are made to be, we light the way for others to do the same.

No more contorting to fit narrow molds or hiding quirky beautiful parts of you. You get to live as the authentic you. And the world will be better for it.

FAQs

Why is it difficult to be authentic in today’s society?

Authenticity is challenging due to social media and societal pressures that set unrealistic standards. The constant exposure to curated images and expectations can make you feel pressured to conform rather than be yourself.

How can fear of judgment impact your ability to be yourself?

Fear of judgment can cause you to alter your behavior or suppress your true self to avoid criticism or fit in. This fear often leads to self-censorship and prevents you from expressing your genuine thoughts and feelings.

What role does self-doubt play in preventing you from being authentic?

Self-doubt undermines authenticity by making you question your worth and decisions. It can lead to insecurity, causing you to conform to external expectations instead of expressing your true self.

How can you overcome the fear of not being accepted by others?

To overcome this fear, focus on self-acceptance and build confidence through positive affirmations and supportive relationships. Understanding that not everyone will accept you allows you to embrace your true self despite potential rejection.

What are some strategies for dealing with social pressure to conform?

Define your personal values, practice assertiveness, and surround yourself with supportive individuals. Managing stress through mindfulness can help you stay true to yourself despite external pressures.

How can you build self-confidence to embrace your true self?

Build self-confidence by setting small goals, acknowledging your strengths, and engaging in positive self-talk. Seek feedback from supportive people and focus on your achievements to reinforce your self-worth.

How can you handle criticism when trying to be yourself?

Handle criticism by distinguishing between constructive feedback and unwarranted negativity. Focus on constructive feedback for growth and dismiss negative criticism to protect your self-esteem. Stay true to your values and goals.

What are the risks of not being true to yourself?

Not being true to yourself can lead to dissatisfaction, stress, and strained relationships. It often results in a lack of personal fulfillment and difficulty forming genuine connections.

How can you stay true to yourself while maintaining healthy relationships?

Balance authenticity with empathy by communicating openly about your needs while respecting others’ perspectives. Foster relationships based on mutual respect and support, ensuring both parties can be themselves.