Making friends as an adult is weird. Gone are the days when you could bond with someone just because you sat next to them in class or shared the same juice box flavor.
Now you’ve got to navigate the bizarre dance of trying to connect with other humans while pretending you’re a functioning grown-up.
And honestly? Most of us are absolutely terrible at it.
Making friends in your 20s is tough when you’re juggling work and adult responsibilities.
Don’t ghost social invites—say yes even when Netflix calls. Create regular touchpoints by joining weekly hobby groups, turning coworkers into coffee buddies, or becoming a familiar face at local spots.
Ask thoughtful questions, share a bit of vulnerability, and be patient—meaningful connections take time. Who knows, that awkward small talk you’re dreading might just lead to your next best friendship.
Key Takeaways
- Accept social invitations and overcome initial discomfort to create opportunities for meaningful connections.
- Turn coworkers into friends through coffee invites and gradually transition workplace relationships into personal ones.
- Attend events alone to expand your social circle, as most people share similar social anxieties.
- Host small casual gatherings with simple activities to create relaxed environments for friendship development.
- Commit to consistent social routines and give new relationships at least two months to develop naturally.
Why making friends in your 20s can be challenging
Making friends after college gets weirdly hard, and nobody really warns you about it. Once you leave the cozy bubble of school, where friendships basically form by proximity and shared misery, you’re suddenly expected to conjure meaningful connections while juggling a full-time job, adult responsibilities, and possibly a move to a new city.
Your social muscles start to atrophy as your daily routine becomes work, Netflix, sleep, repeat, and finding the energy to put yourself out there feels like climbing a mountain after running a marathon.
What makes this phase especially challenging is that everyone else seems equally overwhelmed and unavailable. Your former friends scatter geographically or disappear into relationships, while new potential pals are busy building careers or already have established circles.
The spontaneous hangouts of college life give way to the dreaded scheduling nightmare—trying to align calendars weeks in advance for a simple coffee date that mightn’t even lead to friendship.
Meanwhile, the stakes feel higher; you’re not merely looking for drinking buddies anymore but people who might actually understand and support the person you’re becoming in this decade of massive change.
The good news is that your twenties present unique opportunities to form deep lasting connections through shared experiences and personal growth.
How to Make Friends in Your 20s
Making friends as an adult isn’t like the automatic playground bonding of childhood—it takes actual effort and can feel awkward as hell sometimes.
The good news? Everyone else in their twenties is just as desperate for meaningful connections as you are, even if they’re pretending they’ve got it all figured out.
Now we’ll look at several approaches to friendship-making that actually work, from maximizing everyday interactions to stepping outside your comfort zone with purpose.
While it’s normal to experience friend loss during this transitional decade, viewing it as an opportunity to forge new, more aligned connections can help you move forward.
Here’s how to make friends in your 20s:
Say yes to invites even if you feel unsure.
Pushing yourself to accept social invitations—even when your instinct is to decline—creates genuine opportunities for friendship that you’d otherwise miss.
When that text pops up inviting you to a party where you’ll know exactly one person, your brain immediately crafts fifteen excuses about why your couch and Netflix deserve your attention instead.
I get it completely—the comfort zone is cozy for a reason. But friendship rarely blossoms in isolation, and those awkward first hangouts eventually evolve into comfortable routines with people who might become your closest confidants.
The initial discomfort is temporary, while the connections you form could last decades.
Remember that everyone at the gathering was once new to the group themselves. That awkward small talk about what you do for work or where you’re from? It’s the necessary foundation before you discover shared obsessions over the same obscure podcast or both confess your terrible karaoke habits. Plus, showing up consistently signals to others that you’re available for friendship—people tend to invest in those they see regularly and who make the effort to be present.
Your twenties are a critical developmental period for building lasting social connections that will influence your future relationships and support systems.
Accepting invitations doesn’t mean saying yes to absolutely everything until you collapse from social exhaustion. It means recognizing when your reflex “no” comes from anxiety rather than genuine preference, and occasionally overriding that initial reaction.
The math is simple: more social interactions create more chances to find your people, while hiding at home guarantees you won’t.
- Have a pre-planned exit strategy – Tell yourself “I’ll stay for an hour” to make the commitment feel manageable, then decide whether to extend once you’re there and have assessed the vibe.
- Bring a conversation safety net – Prepare a few reliable topics or questions that work in almost any gathering (current events, compliments, or questions about how people know each other).
- Follow the 3-invite rule – If you’ve declined plans with someone three times in a row, make an extra effort to accept the fourth invitation if you genuinely want that friendship.
- Reframe “networking” as “potential friendships” – Work events, alumni gatherings, and other “professional” settings often disguise themselves as obligation when they’re actually friendship goldmines filled with people who share your interests.
Join a local hobby group that meets weekly.
Hobby groups serve as friendship factories where relationships develop naturally around shared interests rather than forced small talk.
You’re crafting authentic connections through something you actually care about, which makes conversations flow easier and creates lasting bonds through mutual enthusiasm and shared experiences.
The consistency of weekly meetings gives friendships time to develop organically—you can’t rush meaningful relationships. These regular gatherings create a comfortable rhythm that allows people to gradually open up and share more of themselves while building trust through shared activities.
Taking meaningful social risks in your twenties through group activities can accelerate personal growth and forge deeper connections.
| Group Type | Friendship Potential | Growth Opportunity |
|---|---|---|
| Book Clubs | Deep discussions on literature, personal interpretations, life experiences | Expanding perspectives through diverse genres, challenging viewpoints |
| Sports Teams | Built-in camaraderie, team spirit, shared victories and losses | Physical confidence, strategic thinking, leadership skills |
| Creative Workshops | Vulnerable sharing of artistic expression, mutual encouragement | Exploring interests together, developing new techniques, personal style |
| Gaming Groups | Strategy sharing, collaborative problem-solving | Enhanced decision-making, social dynamics |
| Cooking Classes | Cultural exchange, recipe sharing | Culinary skills, nutrition knowledge |
Don’t worry about being the best at whatever activity you choose. Nobody cares if your pottery looks like a third-grader made it—they’re just happy you showed up and are participating with genuine interest.
The point isn’t perfection; it’s consistency and genuine interest. Show up, be curious, and watch how quickly acquaintances evolve into actual friends through shared experiences and mutual support.
The beauty of hobby-based friendships lies in their natural progression from casual acquaintances to deeper connections. These relationships often extend beyond the scheduled meeting times, leading to spontaneous gatherings, shared projects, and lasting bonds that enrich both parties’ lives.
The shared vocabulary and experiences created through regular participation provide a strong foundation for meaningful friendships that can last a lifetime, while the structured environment of organized groups offers a safe space for personal growth and social exploration.
Ask a coworker to grab coffee after work.
Asking a coworker to grab coffee after work is a simple yet powerful way to change a workplace acquaintance into a genuine friend outside the confines of your job.
Start by building a foundation of small, positive interactions before popping the coffee question. Chat about non-work stuff by the coffee machine, laugh at their jokes, or commiserate about that weird meeting that just happened. When you feel a natural connection forming, casually mention, “I’m heading to that coffee shop around the corner after work today – would you want to join?”
The timing matters – don’t ask when they’re stressed about a deadline or running to catch the elevator. And don’t make it weird! Keep it casual, like you’re suggesting something that’s no big deal (even though your palms might be sweating a little).
The first coffee hangout might feel slightly awkward – that’s completely normal and actually a good sign you’re pushing yourself socially. Have a few conversation topics ready that move beyond work drama: weekend plans, TV shows, hometown stories, or that podcast everyone’s talking about.
Most importantly, be yourself. People can sense authenticity, and the whole point is finding friends who appreciate you, not some polished version you’re pretending to be. If the coffee chat goes well, follow up within a few days with another invitation – maybe lunch next time, or drinks after work with a few others.
When life feels confusing in your twenties, reaching out to form new social connections can help provide clarity and direction.
- Start with workplace adjacent topics: Begin with conversations about your shared workplace experience but pivot to personal interests to avoid feeling like you’re still at work. “That client was challenging today! Do you mountain bike too? I noticed your desktop background.”
- Be mindfully persistent: If they decline once, don’t take it personally. Try again in a couple weeks—many people say no simply because they’re busy, not because they’re rejecting your friendship.
- Group invitations reduce pressure: Instead of a one-on-one coffee that might feel intense, invite them to join you and another colleague or two for happy hour, creating a more relaxed atmosphere.
- Check your expectations: Friendship develops over multiple interactions, so don’t expect to become besties after one coffee date. Treat it as the first step in what could become a meaningful connection if you’re compatible.
Attend events alone and talk to strangers.
Going to events by yourself might sound as appealing as a root canal, but it’s actually one of the fastest ways to expand your social circle in your twenties.
Walking into a room where you know nobody cranks up your social anxiety to eleven, but that discomfort is where personal growth happens.
The key is to remember that most people at these events are equally nervous about socializing. The art of solo networking becomes easier with practice and a positive mindset. Taking steps toward self-discovery allows you to meet people who align with your authentic self.
| Event Type | Networking Tips | Conversation Starter |
|---|---|---|
| Industry Meetups | Bring business cards, set a “talk to 3 people” goal, position yourself near refreshments or registration desk | “What brought you to this event?” “What’s your take on [recent industry news]?” |
| Hobby Classes | Focus on shared interests, arrive 10 minutes early, sit next to someone who’s alone | “Is this your first time trying this?” “What other similar activities do you enjoy?” |
| Local Festivals | Wear something conversation-worthy, volunteer at booths, join group activities | “Have you tried the food at that booth?” “Which performances have you enjoyed most?” |
| Community Workshops | Participate actively in group exercises, share personal experiences | “What inspired you to join this workshop?” “Are you working on any related projects?” |
The benefits of attending events solo extend far beyond immediate social connections. The self-reliance and confidence you develop through these experiences carry over into other areas of your life, from professional development to personal relationships.
Regular practice of solo socializing helps build a natural ability to initiate conversations and maintain meaningful connections.
These skills become invaluable assets as you navigate through different stages of your career and personal life.
Reconnect with old friends intentionally.
Reconnecting with old friends isn’t merely randomly texting “hey” at 2 AM after three years of silence—it’s about thoughtfully rebuilding those connections with genuine interest and realistic expectations.
Start by making a short list of people you actually miss, rather than just those who’d look good on your Instagram. Think about friends from high school, college roommates who saw you at your absolute worst, or that work buddy from your first job. Reaching out might feel awkward (because it absolutely is), but most people are secretly flattered when someone remembers them fondly.
Send a specific message mentioning a shared memory or asking about something they were passionate about—”Still playing guitar?” hits differently than “How’s life?”
When you do reconnect, be honest about why you drifted apart without turning it into a therapy session. Maybe you were overwhelmed with work, moved away, or simply became different people. Acknowledge the gap without dwelling on it, and focus on building something new rather than trying to recreate what you had at 18.
The beauty of reconnecting with old friends is that you already have a foundation—you’re not starting from scratch, just renovating what was already there. Sometimes these rekindled friendships become even stronger because you both bring new perspectives and growth to the table.
Consider sharing transformative books you’ve read recently to spark meaningful conversations and deepen your reconnected friendship.
- Schedule the first hangout for something low-pressure with a built-in time limit—coffee before work or a quick lunch breaks the ice without the pressure of filling an entire evening.
- Use social media strategically—comment meaningfully on their posts before sliding into DMs, showing you’re genuinely interested in their current life.
- Be prepared for some friendships to remain casual—not every reconnection needs to become a weekly tradition, and that’s perfectly fine.
- Introduce old friends to your current circle when it makes sense—creating these connections expands everyone’s network and helps integrate your past and present social worlds.
Use Bumble BFF or Meetup to find locals.
While the dating app revolution has fundamentally transformed our romantic relationships, platforms like Bumble BFF and Meetup have quietly revolutionized how we form meaningful platonic connections in the digital age.
These friendship-finding tools have become essential in our increasingly disconnected world, especially for those who’ve relocated or found their social circles shrinking during recent global events.
You’re literally carrying countless friendship opportunities in your pocket right now, with algorithms working tirelessly to match you with compatible companions. Stop scrolling mindlessly through social media and put that phone to work building real connections! Your early twenties connections will shape your social foundation and personal growth for decades to come.
| Platform | Bumble Tips | Meetup Strategy |
|---|---|---|
| Setup | Use recent, activity-based photos showing hobbies; Write detailed bio highlighting interests; Include conversation starters | Join groups aligned with interests; Complete profile with photo and bio; Enable event notifications |
| Engagement | Message first with specific questions about shared interests; Respond within 24 hours; Use GIFs and emojis thoughtfully | RSVP “yes” and actually show up; Participate in discussions; Volunteer to help organize |
| Follow-up | Suggest concrete plans within 7 days; Choose public meeting spots; Share contact info after establishing rapport | Attend regularly to become a familiar face; Connect with members on social media; Join smaller breakout events |
Don’t overthink your profile—authenticity beats perfection every time. That hiking photo where you look sweaty but happy? Keep it. The selfie with perfect makeup but lifeless eyes? Trash it. People connect with your genuine self, not your curated version.
The key to success on these platforms lies in maintaining consistent active engagement and following through on connections. Remember that everyone else on these apps is also seeking meaningful friendships, so don’t be afraid to take the initiative in suggesting meetups or activities.
Building a solid friend group through these platforms typically takes 3-4 months of regular participation, so maintain realistic expectations and stay patient throughout the process.
Start conversations at the gym or park.
Approaching strangers at places like the gym or park is actually one of the most natural ways to expand your social circle in your twenties, since you already share a common interest or activity.
When you’re at the gym, timing matters more than you might think. Nobody wants to chat during an intense set or while they’re gasping for air on the treadmill, so wait until they’re between exercises or cooling down. A simple comment about their workout technique or asking for advice on a machine you’re unfamiliar with creates an opening without feeling forced. “I noticed you do that exercise differently—is there an advantage to your approach?” works better than generic small talk because it’s relevant to what you’re both doing.
Parks offer even more relaxed opportunities for connection, especially if you bring something that invites interaction. Throwing a frisbee near others who seem open to joining, bringing a dog that can serve as your social ambassador, or simply complimenting someone’s picnic setup can break the ice.
The key is consistency—becoming a “regular” at certain times means you’ll start recognizing familiar faces, turning strangers into acquaintances through repeated brief interactions before attempting deeper conversation. Those small nods of recognition eventually evolve into “Hey, how’s it going?” and potentially genuine friendship.
- Wear something conversation-worthy occasionally—a shirt from a concert, sports team, or with a funny saying that gives others an easy opening to speak with you.
- Create a routine where you visit the same locations at consistent times, as familiarity breeds comfort and increases the likelihood of meaningful interactions developing naturally.
- Come prepared with 2-3 friendly questions that relate to the environment you’re in, like asking about workout recommendations or the best spots in the park to read.
- Remember that rejection isn’t personal—someone might be having a bad day or be naturally reserved, so maintain a positive attitude and try again with someone else if a conversation attempt falls flat.
While seeking new connections, remember that embracing solitude can help you approach social situations with more confidence and authenticity.
Volunteer regularly at a nearby nonprofit.
Volunteering at a local nonprofit might be the most reliable friendship-forming activity you’ll find in your twenties. You’re regularly interacting with people who share your values, creating instant conversation starters.
The environment of shared purpose creates natural opportunities for meaningful connections that can extend beyond volunteer hours.
Unlike awkward party small talk, you’re working together toward something meaningful, which builds deeper interpersonal bonds through common goals and experiences.
| Nonprofit Type | Community Engagement Level | Friendship Potential |
|---|---|---|
| Animal Shelters | High (team activities, animal care coordination, event planning) | Excellent for animal lovers, strong bonds through emotional experiences |
| Food Banks | Medium (structured tasks, inventory management, distribution) | Good for consistent schedules, practical problem-solving partnerships |
| Environmental | Very high (outdoor projects, conservation efforts, education initiatives) | Great for shared experiences, physical activity bonding |
| Arts/Culture | Medium-high (creative collaboration, event organization, public outreach) | Perfect for like-minded creatives, artistic expression connections |
Don’t overthink it—just commit to showing up regularly. The shared experiences of problem-solving, celebrating small victories, and occasionally commiserating about challenges will turn acquaintances into friends faster than you’d expect.
The development of lasting friendships through volunteering often follows a natural progression of increasing involvement and responsibility. Regular volunteers frequently find themselves taking on leadership roles or specialized projects, which creates even more opportunities for meaningful relationships to develop.
The combination of purpose-driven work and consistent interaction creates an ideal environment for authentic connections to flourish, often leading to friendships that extend well beyond the volunteer setting.
Volunteering can provide a powerful antidote to the quarter-life crisis many young adults experience while searching for meaning and connection.
Host casual hangouts like game nights.
Throwing a low-key gathering at your place is friendship-building magic in a bottle – it creates a relaxed environment where connections happen naturally while everyone’s focused on having fun rather than the awkwardness of making friends.
Start small and manageable with just 4-6 people, which might mean inviting that work colleague you chat with by the coffee machine, your neighbor who helped carry your groceries that one time, and telling them to bring someone cool along.
Pick activities that encourage interaction without requiring Olympic-level skills – board games like Codenames or Cards Against Humanity, video game tournaments if that’s your scene, or even just putting together a puzzle while music plays in the background. The beauty is in creating an environment where conversation flows alongside whatever you’re doing, not forcing it in the spotlight where it wilts under pressure.
Food brings people together faster than almost anything else, so never underestimate the power of some simple snacks – we’re talking chips and dip, not a five-course meal that keeps you trapped in the kitchen.
Make it potluck style to ease your burden and give everyone a stake in the gathering’s success. The vital ingredient? Consistency. That one-off game night might be fun, but it’s the “hey, we do this every other Thursday” that alters acquaintances into friends who start making plans outside your organized hangouts.
The rhythm of regular gatherings builds community almost automatically, turning “those people I invited over once” into “my friends.”
- Create a low-pressure invitation: Text something casual like “Having some people over Saturday for games and snacks around 7. Nothing fancy. Would be great if you could make it!” This gives them an easy out but makes it clear you genuinely want them there.
- Choose games that reveal personality: The best activities aren’t just fun but reveal bits of who people are. Games like “Two Truths and a Lie” or even Jenga with questions written on blocks create memorable moments and inside jokes that cement friendships.
- Manage the energy flow: Be ready to switch activities if something’s not working. Have a few different games available, a playlist ready, or even a silly YouTube video cued up to change the vibe if conversations stall or energy dips.
- Follow up afterward: Send a group text thanking everyone for coming and sharing a funny photo from the night. This simple gesture acknowledges the shared experience and opens the door for future hangouts, whether you host them or someone else takes the initiative.
Compliment someone and introduce yourself.
While most friendship strategies take time and careful planning, a genuine compliment followed by an introduction remains the simplest, most underrated way to start meaningful connections.
This approach works because it combines two powerful social tools: positive recognition and personal disclosure, which psychology research shows are fundamental building blocks of human relationships.
You’ve probably noticed someone’s cool shirt or brilliant comment in a meeting. Don’t just think it—say it! Compliment authenticity means pointing out something specific you genuinely admire, not generic flattery.
Then, introduce yourself confidently with your name and a brief conversation starter.
| Situation | Sample Compliment | Follow-Up Intro |
|---|---|---|
| Coffee Shop | “That book changed my life! I loved how the author approached the theme of resilience.” | “I’m Alex. What part are you on? I’d love to hear your thoughts on chapter three.” |
| Gym | “Your form is perfect on those squats. I can tell you’ve really worked on your technique.” | “I’m Jamie. Mind sharing some tips? I’ve been trying to improve my form for months.” |
| Work | “Your presentation was so clear, especially the data visualization part.” | “I’m Taylor. Let’s grab coffee sometime and discuss your approach to project management.” |
| Class | “Great point about the assignment’s historical context.” | “I’m Jordan. Wanna study together? I have some good notes on the previous lectures.” |
| Party | “Love your playlist choices! The mix of classics and new tracks is perfect.” | “I’m Casey. Who’s your favorite artist? I noticed you played some great indie tracks.” |
The key to successful social connection through compliments and introductions lies in the follow-through. The initial interaction should be viewed as an opening chapter rather than a complete story.
Remember to maintain genuine interest in the conversation and be prepared with thoughtful follow-up questions that can deepen the exchange.
Be the one who follows up after meeting.
Following up after meeting someone new is that vital next step that alters a pleasant encounter into a potential friendship, yet it’s the exact moment where most twentysomethings drop the ball.
The post-meeting follow-up doesn’t need to be complicated, but it does require intentionality. Exchange numbers or social media handles during your initial interaction, then wait about 24-48 hours before sending that first message.
Something simple like, “Really enjoyed talking about our shared obsession with 90s cartoons yesterday! Would love to grab coffee sometime next week if you’re free.” This strikes the perfect balance between casual and specific, showing you paid attention to your conversation without coming across as desperate.
Remember, everyone feels awkward about reaching out first, but someone has to break that ice—might as well be you.
That awkward feeling in your stomach when you hover over the send button? Completely normal. We all worry about rejection or coming across as “too much,” but the truth is that most people are flattered when someone makes an effort to connect.
What’s the worst that could happen? They don’t respond, and you’re exactly where you started. But what’s the best that could happen? You might just score yourself a new friend who’s been waiting for someone brave enough to make the first move.
The people with thriving social circles in their twenties aren’t necessarily the most charming or interesting—they’re simply the ones who consistently show up and follow through.
- Set a personal rule to follow up within 48 hours of meeting someone new—any longer and the connection starts to cool off considerably.
- Reference something specific from your conversation in your follow-up message to show you were genuinely engaged (e.g., “I found that podcast we talked about!”).
- Suggest a concrete plan rather than the vague “we should hang out sometime”—propose a specific activity, location, and rough timeframe.
- If you don’t get a response to your first message, it’s okay to try once more a week later, but after that, respect the silence and move on—not every connection is meant to blossom into friendship.
Message someone you admire on Instagram.
Beyond face-to-face encounters, your phone holds untapped friendship potential right in your palm through the power of social media connections.
Those Instagram accounts you’ve been silently admiring represent real people with shared interests and perspectives, making them perfect candidates for meaningful digital friendships when you approach them with authentic engagement and respectful boundaries.
| Do This | Not That |
|---|---|
| “I love how you captured that sunset – the colors are incredible and your composition really draws the eye!” | “I’ve seen all 837 of your posts and saved every single one” |
| “Your pottery skills inspire me to try it – where did you learn your techniques?” | “You’re so much better than me, I could never do what you do” |
| “Would love to grab coffee sometime and chat about your travel photography” | “Be my friend please I’m desperate for connection” |
| “Your content on sustainable living has changed my perspective” | “I’ve been following your every move for months” |
Instagram Messaging isn’t just for memes and relationship drama. Those Admiration Connections can evolve into real friendships when you’re brave enough to reach out with purpose and authenticity.
The art of digital connection begins with finding common ground and expressing genuine interest in others’ content and perspectives. Building meaningful relationships through social media requires patience, authenticity, and the courage to make that first move while respecting personal boundaries and social etiquette.
The worst they can say is nothing – and honestly, that’s not so terrible compared to missing out on someone awesome. Remember that many lasting friendships and professional connections have started with a simple, thoughtful DM that showed real appreciation for someone’s work or perspective.
Show up consistently to the same places.
Showing up consistently to the same places means making yourself a regular at locations where you can meet potential friends, allowing familiarity to naturally develop into connections.
The magic of friendship often happens through repeated encounters, not only one-off meetings. When you become a regular at places—whether it’s a coffee shop, gym, pottery class, or local board game night—people start recognizing your face and feeling comfortable around you. That first awkward “hey” evolves into casual conversation about the barista’s new tattoo or complaining about that brutal workout together. Our brains are wired to trust what’s familiar, so by simply existing in the same space repeatedly, you’re already halfway to friendship without even trying particularly hard.
Consistency requires commitment, especially when you’d rather stay home binging another series in your pajamas. Truth bomb: making friends as an adult means occasionally choosing discomfort over convenience. Block out specific times in your calendar for these activities and treat them as non-negotiable appointments with your social future. Maybe it’s Tuesday evening book club and Saturday morning running group. Whatever you choose, give it at least two months before deciding it’s not working—relationships need time to germinate, and that uncomfortable “new person” feeling doesn’t disappear overnight.
Your consistency sends powerful signals to others. It demonstrates reliability, genuine interest, and that you’re invested in the community. Other regulars will notice your dedication and begin to see you as part of their world. That person who always nods at you across the yoga studio might eventually ask about grabbing smoothies afterward. The fellow volunteer who works the same shift at the animal shelter might mention a group hiking trip. These natural progressions happen because you kept showing up when it would have been easier not to, creating fertile ground for friendships to take root.
- Pick places aligned with your interests: Choose locations connected to activities you genuinely enjoy—this guarantees you’ll meet people with shared passions and makes consistency less of a chore when motivation dips.
- Create a “consistency calendar”: Schedule specific days and times for recurring activities and protect these slots from other obligations, treating your social development with the same importance as work commitments.
- Practice approachable body language: While being consistent, remember to look up from your phone, make occasional eye contact, and offer friendly smiles—physical cues that signal you’re open to interaction while respecting others’ space.
- Build incremental connections: Start with small talk about the shared experience (“That instructor really pushed us today!”), gradually moving to personal topics as comfort builds—forcing deep conversation too soon can make others uncomfortable rather than fostering friendship.
Talk to classmates or coworkers daily.
The workplace and classroom represent untapped goldmines of friendship potential that you’re already visiting five days a week. Social integration in professional and academic environments can transform mundane daily routines into meaningful connections, as these spaces naturally create opportunities for shared experiences and mutual understanding.
Those daily workplace interactions might feel ordinary or insignificant at first glance, but they’re actually vital friendship stepping stones that can lead to lasting relationships.
By recognizing these environments as social hubs rather than just places of work or study, you can maximize their potential for building meaningful connections.
| Conversation Starter | Why It Works |
|---|---|
| “That meeting was something else, huh?” | Creates shared experience by acknowledging collective moments; builds camaraderie through mutual understanding |
| “I’m grabbing coffee, want anything?” | Shows thoughtfulness and consideration; creates opportunity for one-on-one interaction |
| “What’d you do this weekend?” | Opens personal connection beyond work context; demonstrates genuine interest in their life |
| “Need help with that project?” | Demonstrates value and reliability; establishes trust through professional support |
| “Have you tried that new lunch spot?” | Suggests future hangout possibilities; creates natural opportunity for social interaction outside formal setting |
Don’t overthink classroom conversations—simply turning to comment on the lecture or asking for notes can break the ice. These small daily exchanges gradually change colleagues and classmates from strangers to friends without the pressure of formal friend-dating.
The key to successful workplace socialization lies in maintaining consistency and authenticity in your interactions. Building meaningful relationships in professional or academic settings requires a delicate balance between maintaining appropriate boundaries while still allowing genuine connections to develop naturally through shared experiences and mutual support.
Ask open-ended questions to learn more.
Asking open-ended questions means ditching yes/no queries for conversation starters that invite people to actually share something meaningful about themselves.
When you’re trying to make friends in your twenties, nobody wants to feel like they’re being interviewed or stuck in small talk hell. Open-ended questions create natural pathways into deeper conversations where real connections happen. Instead of asking, “Did you like college?” try “What was the most unexpected thing you learned in college?” Notice how the second question practically forces them to tell a story or share an insight? That’s the magic. People generally enjoy talking about themselves when they feel genuinely listened to, not only interrogated.
The beauty of open-ended questions is they show you’re actually interested in the other person’s thoughts and experiences. In your twenties, everyone’s figuring stuff out—careers, relationships, whether adulting ever gets easier (spoiler: sometimes). When someone responds to your thoughtful question, listen actively rather than waiting for your turn to speak. Make eye contact, nod along, and follow up with related questions that build on what they’ve shared. This turns a potentially awkward exchange into a flowing conversation that feels natural and creates those “we really clicked” moments.
Remember that friendship-building conversations aren’t interviews—they’re exchanges. Share your own thoughts after they answer. For example, if you ask about their favorite travel experience and they tell you about backpacking through Thailand, briefly share your own travel story or why you’d love to go there. This back-and-forth creates balance and shows vulnerability on both sides, which is the foundation of any friendship worth having.
- Prepare a mental list of go-to questions beyond the basics—like “What’s been keeping you busy lately that you’re excited about?” or “What’s something you’ve changed your mind about in the last few years?”—that naturally lead to more substantial exchanges.
- Pay attention to their responses and look for threads to pull on—if they mention loving a certain band, ask what specifically draws them to that music rather than just saying “cool” and moving on.
- Mix up the emotional tone of your questions—some can be lighthearted (“What’s the most ridiculous thing you believed as a kid?”), while others can invite reflection (“What’s a life lesson you wish you’d learned earlier?”).
- Match your question depth to the setting and relationship stage—start with medium-depth questions when meeting someone new, and save the philosophical life questions for when you’ve established some rapport.
Be honest and a little vulnerable early.
Once you’ve mastered the art of asking great questions, it’s time to take your budding friendships to the next level by revealing more of your authentic self. Nobody connects with a perfect robot, as genuine human connection requires showing your true nature, complete with flaws and uncertainties.
Showing your quirks, struggles, and imperfections creates genuine bonds faster than keeping up a flawless façade. The process of selective vulnerability allows others to see themselves in your experiences and feel more comfortable opening up in return.
| Vulnerability Level | Benefits | Common Barriers | Example Shares |
|---|---|---|---|
| Low (Share opinions) | Starts conversation, builds rapport | Fear of judgment, social anxiety | Movie preferences, food likes/dislikes |
| Medium (Share struggles) | Creates trust, shows relatability | Pride or shame, fear of appearing weak | Work challenges, fitness goals |
| High (Share feelings) | Deepens connection, fosters intimacy | Past rejection, emotional walls | Personal fears, relationship concerns |
Don’t dump your entire life story on someone you just met at happy hour. Instead, gradually open up about smaller things—maybe mention that podcast that made you cry or admit you’re nervous about a job interview. These honesty moments become bridge-building opportunities that change acquaintances into actual friends. Small revelations create space for deeper connections.
The key to successful vulnerability sharing is maintaining appropriate boundaries while still being genuine. Building trust through gradual disclosure allows relationships to develop naturally and sustainably.
The most meaningful connections often start with small moments of shared humanity, where both parties recognize their common experiences and challenges. This mutual understanding forms the foundation for lasting friendships and deeper relationships.
Conclusion
Making friends as an adult is weird and uncomfortable. That’s just how it works. No getting around it.
Those awkward first hangouts? The ones where you’re desperately wishing you were home watching Netflix instead? Yeah, those often turn into your strongest friendships.
Stop overthinking and start doing. Reply to that text. Show up to that random meetup.
Take that pottery class where you’ll definitely make some ugly bowls. Everyone else there is just as anxious and trying to figure it out too.
The sooner you embrace the awkwardness, the sooner you’ll have actual friends to be awkward with.
FAQs
How do I make new friends in my 20s?
You make friends by doing scary grown-up stuff—talk to someone first. Join groups, attend events, or try volunteering. Friendships rarely fall into your lap post-college; you’ve got to create collisions with like-minded people.
Where do 25 year olds make friends?
Mostly outside their comfort zones. Think meetup groups, coworking spaces, book clubs, fitness classes, or that friend-of-a-friend’s weird rooftop party. You’ve got to go where the people are. Online works too—apps like Bumble BFF are fair game.
How many friends does the average 20-year-old have?
According to research? Around 3-5 close friends. The key word is close. If you’ve got one person you can ugly cry with, you’re ahead of the curve. Adult friendships in your 20s are about quality, not quantity.
Is 25 too late to start making friends?
Nope. 25 isn’t too late—it’s actually when most people realize they’ve outgrown old friendships and crave deeper connections. So breathe, you’re right on schedule.
Is it normal not to have friends in your 20s?
Yes. Sadly (but also weirdly reassuring), it’s super normal. Life’s transitions—moving, new jobs, identity shifts—make it hard to keep or grow friendships in your 20s. You’re not broken, you’re just… human.
Can you make new friends in your 20s?
Absolutely. Will it be awkward? Also yes. But if you stay open, curious, and willing to meet new people, it’s 100% doable—even in your late twenties. People are lonelier than ever and dying for connection.
Why is it so hard to make friends in your 20s?
Because we’re all overworked, over-scrolling, and under-socialized. Plus, adult life lacks the convenient friend funnels (school, dorms, recess). You have to be intentional, and yes—it’s effort. But worth it.
How do I find like-minded people in my 20s?
Follow your interests. Like hiking? Join a trail group. Into books? Try a local lit club. No hobbies yet? Explore. Your tribe hangs out where your curiosity leads you. Stop doomscrolling and get out there.
How do I keep friends once I make them?
You show up. You check in. You make plans and follow through. Friendships in your 20s take nurturing—text them, talk to someone even when you’re “too busy.” Be consistent and kind. It’s a relationship, not a convenience.
What if I feel too awkward to talk to someone new?
Welcome to the club! Everyone feels that way. Confidence comes from doing, not waiting. Start with a compliment or shared observation. Be curious. Ask questions. The goal isn’t to impress—it’s to connect.
