Why It’s So Difficult to Be Independent


the little boy is sitting at a desk in school and speaking on the phone.
the little boy is sitting at a desk in school and speaking on the phone.

Independence is a fundamental human need. It’s what we strive for when we want to be free from being controlled or influenced by others. Many of us want to be independent, but it’s not always easy. In fact, it can be one of the hardest things to be – especially when you’re still young and trying to figure out who you are.

Independence can be difficult due to various factors such as societal expectations, financial constraints, and personal insecurities. The pressure to conform to cultural norms and the fear of failure can also hinder individuals from pursuing their own paths. 

To better understand the challenge of being independent, let’s explore the reasons why it can be so difficult.

Why is it so hard to be independent?

Although we live in a world that emphasizes the importance of being independent, it can be difficult to make the leap from dependence to independence. Here are some reasons why it can be so hard to be independent:

Limited finances impede independence.

When your finances are limited, it can be tough to be independent. This is because money is often needed for basic necessities like housing, food, and transportation. Without enough funds, you may have to rely on others for help, which can limit your ability to make your own choices and decisions.

You may not be able to afford the things you want to do or the places you want to go. This can be frustrating and make it hard to feel like you have control over your own life.

Seeking emotional support from others can hinder independence and cause isolation.

When you rely on others for emotional support, it can make you feel less capable of handling things on your own. You might start to doubt your abilities to manage your emotions and deal with difficult situations by yourself.

Seeking emotional support can also cause isolation because you may become dependent on a few people instead of developing a strong support system. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnectedness from others.

While it’s important to have a support system, it’s also important to build your own sense of self-autonomy and learn how to manage your emotions and problems on your own.

Social norms can discourage independent pursuits.

Young female driver near big modern truck outdoors
Young female driver near big modern truck outdoors

Social norms, which are unwritten rules about how to behave in society, can discourage you from pursuing independent paths. These norms are often based on what is considered “normal” or “acceptable” in your culture or community. They can create pressure to conform to certain expectations, such as getting a job in a particular field or following a traditional career path.

This can make it hard to pursue your own interests and passions, especially if they don’t align with these norms. As a result, you may feel like you have to choose between fitting in and being true to yourself.

One example is, as a woman, you may feel pressure to pursue a career that is traditionally considered “feminine,” like teaching or nursing. However, if you feel more drawn to a career in the sciences, or even in business or law, you may feel like you have to suppress these interests in order to fit in. In this case, the pressure to conform can lead to feelings of isolation and unhappiness. This makes independence among women a highly important value.

Mental health issues can impede decision-making and risk-taking.

When you’re facing mental health issues, making decisions and taking risks can be challenging. Mental health problems like anxiety, depression, or ADHD can make it hard to think clearly, concentrate, and feel confident about your choices. This can make it difficult to be independent because you may feel like you can’t trust yourself to make the right decisions.

When you’re not feeling your best mentally, it’s important to take care of yourself and seek help if needed. This can help you regain your independence and confidence in decision-making. Remember that mental health is just as important as physical health, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Personal responsibilities make it difficult to pursue personal goals.

Responsibilities like taking care of your family or paying bills can take up a big portion of your time and energy, leaving you with little room to focus on yourself.

It can be challenging to find the balance between taking care of your responsibilities and pursuing your goals. Additionally, personal responsibilities often come with financial obligations that can make it difficult to allocate resources toward personal goals.

Fear of failure and uncertainty discourage independent thought.

When you’re afraid of failure or uncertainty, it can be hard to think and act on independent decisions. This is because you may worry about making the wrong choice and facing the consequences. The fear of failure can be so strong that it may prevent you from taking any action at all.

Similarly, when faced with uncertainty, it can be difficult to know which path to take, and this can also discourage independent decision-making. As a result, you may rely on others to make choices for you, even if you don’t agree with them. This can make it hard to be independent and take control of your own life.

Discrimination and systemic barriers make it harder for outcasts and left-out individuals to succeed.

Discrimination can be based on things like skin color, gender, or sexual orientation. Systemic barriers can include things like poverty, lack of access to education, or limited job opportunities. These barriers can make it harder for people to get the resources and support they need to be independent and successful. It can also lead to feelings of isolation and discouragement, making it even harder to push forward.

This means that people who face discrimination and systemic barriers may need help to get the resources they need to be independent.

For example, if you’re a person of color who lives in an area with limited job opportunities, it can be hard to find work that pays enough to support yourself and your family.

Unlock Your Personal Autonomy

bored-little-business-boy

It’s important to remember that all of these factors are just that – factors. They don’t have to have any power over our lives unless we let them. In other words, independence is something that can be achieved at any age and in any situation.

Breaking free from these obstacles requires courage, self-awareness, and a strong desire to pursue personal autonomy.

So, yeah. Being independent is hard and can be one heck of an odyssey. So, what can you do about it?

If you want to learn about how you can cultivate a strong sense of independence and break free from the shackles of your own self-doubt and fear, check out, check out this article.

Conclusion

We often face many challenges and obstacles that can make it difficult to break away from our dependence on others. Whether it’s fear, lack of skills, or societal pressure, we can all struggle with achieving true independence.

But remember, being independent doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Seeking help and support from others can actually be a sign of strength and self-awareness. The key is to find a balance between relying on others and relying on ourselves.

So if you’re struggling with independence, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s a journey, and everyone’s path is different. But by understanding the challenges we face and learning to overcome them, we can all work towards a greater sense of autonomy and self-sufficiency.

Rey

Rey is an aspiring entrepreneur, avid reader, writer, LeBlanc God, Peanut butter lover, and ketchup with veggies enjoyer (???), that takes pride in tormenting himself every day with early morning runs. When he’s not reading, writing, or running, he’s either procrastinating like there’s no tomorrow, getting rekt in League of Legends, or weebing out by rewatching Maid Sama! for the 42069th time.

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